Reed W

Reed, was my soulmate.  I met him in 1995 on a dinner date in Sunnyvale, CA, we were on and off dating, but always traveling together even if we weren't "steady" at the time    Even when I had moved away east to Northeast PA, and to middle Tennessee at times, we always stayed in touch, met at locations for travel, and always were in contact.   I finally moved back, and in, with him in 2009, in San Jose, CA. After that, we were together.     We moved to San Diego in 2013, spent a year in Hawaii together in 2017, moved back to SD in 2018, traveled to Europe in June 2019 (first time away from the US proper, though I considered being in Hawaii somewhat the same way), got married in late 2021 (on hornblower yacht), developed brain cancer in Jun 2022 (gbm), and passed away in Jan 2024.      We were together, had contact, for 28 years. 

 

 

Celebration of Life (additional page)
Obituary (additional Page)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stuart S

Stuart was a mentor that I met in 2008 in Nashville, TN   We continued to stay in touch and he got me more right on eating habits, and really highlighted being sustainable, either in an urban setting or as part of an intentional community.      I was his caregiver in his last 13 months, as he died of prostate cancer (metastasized) in early 2013, 

Rosalie H

Rosalie was part of like a second family to me in the 1990s when I lived in the Sunnyvale area..  She ran a bowling league called TGIF, in which I bowled in for at least 8 years at Futurama bowl in San Jose, CA, moving to Fiesta Lanes in San Jose, the last 2 years before that place was razed.   I bowled with that family for a number of years, and would always spend time at their house after the league was over, and before it started.     I still keep rare touch with daughter Valerie, as the rest of crew has passed.   I remember going to see Rosalie & Valerie in the middle of 2013, after closing up Stuarts affairs, and seeing Valerie, but no Rosalie   I asked her  where she was, and she gave me that look of sadness.   She had died a month after Stuart.    I can't recall what she died of, but it wasn't cancer.    She was in her mid-70s.

Steve L

Steve bought the goofball out of me.   I met him at a mens' gathering one year (and subsequent years, as he was a long time attendee, and so was I), and it turns out that we didn't live too far from each other (at that point, I was in Nashville)...he lived in Birmingham, and I must of visited him at least a half dozen times, during my stays in Nashville.     we had terms for us, "danging adolescents" and we'd always screech in our highest falsettos, "OK!"         Steve passed in FLL in 2021.

 

JL M

JL I met in my time in Nashville (seems a trend, outside of everyone except Rosalie and Reed).   After moving from his house in Antioch TN, he moved in with a mutual friend..     We always seemed to find time to talk for a spell whenever I visited from CA.  He was a kindred soul     There are just certain people that when they move on to the next dimension, a part of you goes along with it.  That's how JL was to me.   He passed away in July 2024

Grief References

You may be here, because you've lost someone you love, like I did back in early 2024.      Below are books, social support groups, a few memes to remind you that this is the time to be gentle with yourself.  Grief has no time limit, no sense of time of year, and it's something you "never get over"   You move, "with", not "on"

  • 1. Social Links (facebook, and others)

  FACEBOOK GROUPS
   * The Next Step (Coping after a gbm loss)
   * Gay Widows & Widowers
   * LGBTQ Grief Loss Support
   * Gay Widowers Outreach

  • 2. BOOKS
    The Light Between Us.... Laura Jackson
    Finding Meaning- David Kessler 
        - grief workbook.
    Healing Through Grief- Michael Polek.

  • 3. VIDEO LINKS, CREATORS.
    Jefferson Fisher (FB)

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